We Can Only Appreciate the Good After We’ve been Faced with Bad

I just returned from a head clearing heart pounding 6mile run.  It’s amazing how much clearer your thinking becomes when you’re challenging your body.  I’m in the middle of day 4 after losing my job, and I’m already making some big moves.  It’s fascinating to step back and be witness to the emotional rollercoaster of job loss.  That coupled with our lovely little recession we’re experiencing hasn’t exactly helped my spirits, but it hasn’t gotten me so down either.

I’ve been really down before.  I’ve faced some minimal adversity in my life, and I’m thankful every day for that.  I know in my heart that I wouldn’t appreciate the good things in my life if I were never faced with the “percieved bad”.    I say “perceived bad” because I mean really, how bad is it?  Nobody is dying here.  🙂

Take inventory today. I’m mean really, seriously take inventory.  While I was running I thought of the many things I can be thankful for:

1. I’m able to run 6miles!

2. The seasons are changing and you can almost smell the baseball in the air – GO YANKS!

3. My daughter’s birthday is on April 14th!  

 

If a guy on day 4 of joblessness in the midst of a sh*tty recession can be grateful, than you really have no excuse to complain today!

Top 5 Ways to Cope with Getting Let Go

There a few ways you can react to getting let go: 

You can: 

1. Wallow in self pity

2. Drink yourself into oblivion 

3. Wallow while drinking

4. Say f- it and head to Figi for a month, and then wallow and drink.

5. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get to work…then maybe have a nice glass of Gary Vaynerchuk recommended vino.

At this point in my life and since I have the responsibilities  of a perfect little girl and a mortgage to pay – I really can only pick option – #5.

That said this week has been a whirlwind of meetings, phone calls and ideas.  Ideas that I’ve been thinking about for months but never really had the time to see to fruition.  I’m saying screw getting down – screw wallowing in self pity. This is opportunity time.  I’m so energized and pumped for these ideas!!

So here they are in no particular order:

I’ve registered two company LLC’s 

1. LookUpInteractive LLC – An idea that I had about two years ago to start my own consulting business.  I just launched the site – and while still VERY bare bones – I’m pumped.  Check it out:

http://www.lookupinteractive.com

2. Dadzilla LLC – I purchased the url http://www.dadzillatv.com – and I’ve hired a great team of freelancer to help me build the site on evenings and on weekends. It’s not ready to launch but I think it will hit a demo that gets neglected – DADS – I see tons and TONS of parenting advice and there’s really nothing for Dads.  My idea is to host a weekly show that will interview people that can offer advice for Dads – everything from the type of mortgage you should look for to the type of crib you should be getting for the new little addition.  I’ve been blessed to have a phenomenal family that loves and supports me, and I realize that not everyone has that type of support system.  So we need to educate the new Dads out there. They need to keep their new little ones safe and secure.  They also need to know what stuff is a rip off and what stuff they really need – ie, ditch the frills and invest in a gate so your baby doesn’t take a spill down the steps!

There are a lot more where these came from – so let me hear your feedback?  Kill me with constructive feedback guys I want these ideas to take off and I need your help – what do you think?

A New Beginning

Thursday Miva was acquired by AdKnowledge, Inc. This is phenomenal news for the talented folks running Miva Direct.  Robert Roe and Mark Ribaudo have a vision for the Miva Direct team that I’m excited to see come to fruition in the coming weeks.  I won’t be a part of that vision because this Monday I was let go.  This is the best thing to happen for me.  This is an opportunity for growth, learning and expansion.  I worked very hard in the months that I spent at Miva Direct and I hope that the team experiences nothing but success.  They all deserve the best.  Now, I must start the journey to look for my next challenge.  

Today, I’m bursting with ideas, happiness, and a feeling that everything happens for a reason.  I’ve decided that I will take some time to be with my family and decide the best opportunity for us. A hasty decision is dangerous, and I want to ensure that I make a decision to move from a pure place, and not a place that is based in financial concern.  

There is so much opportunity in front of me, and I’m excited that this is an opportunity for me to “practice what I preach”.  I have posted on here before regarding the recession, and our perception of the world around us when we’re in the midst of a recession.   Some responded saying that my outlook was unreasonable and much too positive.  I disagree.  Life is not an enemy.  I don’t want war.  I want peace, love and a non hostile environment.  My relationship with the present moment is not a means to an end.  I see my present moment as the only thing that I have.  Life is inseparable from the now.  Now, life is abundant.

• Now, I have the love of a phenomenal woman.  
• Now, I have a daughter that is celebrating her first birthday next month, and brings pure joy to my life.
• Now, I have a family and friends that have reached out to me with love, support and encouragement.  

How lucky am I?

I see the disfunction in grasping for the future, of reacting to the panick of unemployment.  This will not support a smooth transition into a new role. This will only support decision making that is fear based. This won’t help me find a role that is a fulfilling career move.  I may find a “job”, but not an environment where I can be surrounded by like minded positive people.  Life’s much too short for me to seek only financial success.  I’ve seen the danger of this mentality. My actions today are empowered by my intention to do good, act for the good of the people I encounter in my life, and the refusal to feel bitter, rejected, or down.   Too many of us are unaware that we have an inner wisdom of intuition that guides us.  Today is a day I’ve never lived before, and I’m glad to be alive today.  I give to life what I expect life to give to me. I love life.  

Out of this situation, only good will come.

Gridiron Classic

So I have a take a minute to say how fired up I am that I’ve officially logged a sub 9minute mile during an New York Road Runners event.  On Super Bowl Sunday I hit the 8:40min.  Since March of last year, I’ve competed in the following events:

Colon Cancer Challenge March 2008 – 4miles

WABC Fight/Prostate Cancer June 2008  – 5miles

NYC Half- Marathon  August 2008- 13.2 miles

NYRR Fred Lebow Classic  January 2009- 5miles

NYRR Gridiron Classic February 2009 – 4miles

In the coming months I’ll be participating in the following races:

NYRR 8000 March 14th

NYRR 4Milers March 22nd

Scotland Run 10K
Run As One, 4M
R Baby Mother’s Day 4M
AHA Start! Wall Street Run 5K
Japan Day 4M

See the Genius in Yourself

This evening while listening to a TED Talks Podcast from Elizabeth Gilbert – the author of Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia I was inspired. During her talk, Elizabeth spans hundreds of years speaking about the idea that ancient man didn’t necessarily credit himself for the creative work he would do. Gilbert goes on to even side with this idea – citing that Socrates famously claimed to have a “damon” or spirit that was with him at all times. This magical devine entity would be with him and assist in his creative endeavors. The Romans called this spirit genius.

Elizabeth supports that we as a modern society should shift to thinking this way (perhaps not in a wholly literal sense), but rather in the sense that we should at least acknowledge that this creative force, this light, creativity inside us isn’t wholly of us.

She speaks of the ancient Moors who while dancing would recognize when one of them would dance so elegantly, so perfectly, and with such ease and grace that the would recognize it in the tribe by chanting Allah, Allah, Allah (God, God, God). When the Moors later invaded southern Spain you can hear their influence when the Spanish see something done well and chant Oley Oley Oley – a Glimpse of God.

Today – be creative – look for God in yourself. Love yourself enough to keep showing up and see that glimpse of what the Romans called Genius.  See the Genius in yourself.

5 Things I’m grateful for

1. My wife Laura – I paid her $50 if she could last 1/2 hour without talking last night (seriously, she won and I was a happy man to pay up)…but I love that woman.  Plus we laugh together….all the time..

2. My daughter Talia

– Feel the touch of a 9 month olds open hand on your cheek and feel the hand of God.

3. My home – I worked my buns off to provide a home for my family, and although it’s no palace, it’s a great place, and I feel like I enter the “no stress zone” every time I come home at night.

4. My family – I actually CHOSE to live in the same town as my brother.  Crazy right? Wrong.  He and his gorgeous family rule.  We all dig spending our Sundays together, and we even invite my PARENTS! For my Mother’s 60th Birthday we’re sending my parents to Sciacca, Sicily – the town of origin for my Mother’s family.  Family is EVERYTHING. We surprised her.  Priceless..

5. My job – I work with some of the smartest people in the online world, and they’re nice to me.  Not sure what I did to deserve that?   

Life is good people.  take a minute to list your top 5…I promise, you’ll feel great afteward!

Recession? What Recession?

Recently I saw an interview with Rush Limbaugh.  I know, I know but hear me out.  Throughout the course of the interview Rush was his normal cuddly, narrow minded fool blabbering on about some gibberish that I was just about to turn off when he made a statement that got me.  He said (now I’m paraphrasing here)_….”I know there’s a recession, I just don’t choose to participate”…..and I have to say that this may be the first time I can ever say  – I AGREE WITH OUR BOY RUSH.  Amen!  Let’s not participate. 

I’m sure Rush didn’t mean it the way I’m going to interpret here – but I don’t really care.  I choose not to participate in the gloom and doom.  I choose to see the silver lining. I choose to be happy.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.  I’m grateful for my lovely wife Laura, my perfect baby girl Talia, for my friends, my family and my job.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I don’t chose to participate.  

You shouldn’t either.  Smile, you’ll live longer.  I promise.

Managing Change

It’s all too obvious in our current economic climate to discuss that the only constant is change.  The one and only thing reliable and consistent in the interactive space is certainly change.  Rapid, busting bronco  – pissed off change.  Spikes to the north – spikes to the south. Companies explode – companies implode.  People have meteoric rises, people have meteoric crashes to earth.  

Managing this change is not easy.

Here are a few pointers:

1. Understand change

– If you currently feel like there needs to be change in your company, I want you to  write down the changes you’d like – and now plan for them.  understand how to execute these changes step by step. Understand everything, from each person you want to get involved to every result you want to see – now go and do it!

-If you’re resisting change – I want you to ask yourself why? I know that the positive effects of change (at first) can seem much more obvious than the negative – but ask yourself what you’re afraid of, and move forward with change even if it scares you. 

2. Plan for change

Focusing on your goals can help you plan for change.  Decide what your vision statement is (on a personal level) – keep it short and sweet – maybe one or two sentences, and execute. If you’re confronted with corporate culture (truthfully, what I know that I’m up against currently)  – then change corporate culture through yourself, and through individuals. 

3. Implement your own change

This is going to sound like something your third grade teacher may have said to you – but maybe we all need to re-visit the foundation of what’s made us who we are – honestly isn’t the best policy -it’s the only policy. Give the full picture of why you feel there needs to be change (huge revenue goals for example), draw people in (find the appropriate talent), and convey to them your passion and roadmap for success.  Brief the best talent as often as possible. Make training the centerpiece of any change you wish to implement.

Some ways to communicate change:

* Media – Newsletters – trade publications, THIS BLOG, anything to get your message of change out.

* Presentations – Present to large and small groups alike. 

*Training –  Set up training sessions for management workshops, and skill training as well

* Team Meetings – discuss issues, don’t hesitate to take any issue head on. Air problems, and suggest solutions. My team meets formally twice a week, and I feel we’re just scratching the surface.

* Trouble Shooting – regular feedback is essential.  Team problem solving and progress briefing sessions help to keep everyone’s eye on the ball.

4. Consolidate change in your own company

If progress for change lapses – the first thing you should do is look to yourself. Understand if you have set up the appropriate manner in which you can track and monitor change. Have you set up the appropriate way to measure any change that you wish to implement?  How are you measuring the response of prospects? Customers?  Employees?  Subordinates?  

Continue to attempt to maintain momentum, and continually assess your skills.

I know I do.

good luck.  

Top 10 Events of 2008

After reviewing my rather stuffy list of predictions for 2009 (albeit laser accurate, I guarantee it)… something was missing.  So, after no demand whatsoever – here’s a list of things that only effected me and my family.  I’m going to make you sit through it because I think some of these things could effect your life too (seriously)

Drum role please – here are the top 10 events of 2008 – from my perspective, regardless their bearing on personal, or business events:

10.  Moving into our Townhouse.  Scary as hell, but well worth it.  Chappaqua rocks, and my baby girl has her own bedroom.  Cool, very cool

9.  A New job! Miva Direct, Alot.com – After learning more at Azoogle than I think I can truly comprehend this early in my career (special thanks to Don Mathis, Alex Zhardanovsky, Joe Speiser and Brett Lofgren), and then experiencing on of the most intense roller coaster rides of my career at zanox, I’ve very happily landed at Miva Direct (a division of Miva Inc), and parent to our flagship brand http://www.alot.com. I’m revisiting my direct marketing roots, and I’m fired up to come into work again…priceless.

8. A new business – Dadzilla.tv (should be ready to rumble late Q1, 2009)

7. Web 2.0 Expo –  This is where I learned about Gary Vaynerchuk, and winelibrary.tv, www.etsy.com, mzinga and the the concept of “We are greater than Me”

6. Techcrunch50 – the conference was broadcast live on Ustream.com.  I watched every minute, and loved every minute.  Some favorites – www.akoha.com, and www.fitbit.com stand out.

5.   The Secret – It may be psycho-babble to some people, but the road to self help began with watching the Secret.  It was a defining wake up call for a guy that was fine with being mediocre.  Since viewing, I’ve become a Vice President, made more money in the past three years than the previous 5 of my career, bought a townhouse in a phenomenal town (see number 10), and started meditating.  Suffice to say mediocrity is no longer on the agenda.

4.  A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club, Selection 61)
This brilliant book has changed the way I perceive the world.  If reading and seeing the Secret was the appetizer, A New Earth was the main course.  I highly recommend it.  The concepts are at times a bit obtuse, but it will always have you thinking.

3.  UFC – Ultimate Fighter Season 5
– Although it seems like an odd one, I’m hooked.  I’m impressed with the athletes, and at the same time intrigued by Dana White and his business acumen.  I’m a huge fan.

2. John and Kate Plus 8 – Let’s take a look at the total antithesis of Ultimate Fighting – John and Kate Plus 8.  A reality show about a family that (although they already had twins), decided to try for another, and ended up with sextuplets.  If you ever feel that you’re overwhelmed at work, with family etc.  Watch the show, and admire the manner in which these two sleep deprived parents can communicate and parent without killing each other.   A must watch for any parent. Plus the kids are adorable.  This show will certainly put you in a good mood.

1. Talia Ann Dessi – Magic, just magic.  From being there when she was born, to watching her notice her hands for the first time, my perfect daughter has taught me how to see the world through a whole new set of eyes, and for that I’m forever in her debt.  She’s pure joy, pure light, and the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Happy New Year everyone!

Gary Vaynerchuk – Online Man of the Year 2008?

Question:  Who inspired you this year?

My answer:  Gary Vaynerchuk

I’m a wine neophite, yet I find myself watching Gary’s online reviews obessesively.  I like to think of myself as a positive, motivated, focused guy yet Gary’s online activity (endless tweets on twitter), and non stop production of killer content makes me question my own  work ethic (this is a good thing).  When everyone in our industry is freaking out about layoffs, and who they’re going to point the finger at Gary’s message never wanes  “love, hustle, family”….

This guy is what the online industry should all aspire to be.   How can you not love a guy that decided to proclaim a “Good People Day”.…awesome

When I saw Gary deliver this keynote at Web 2.0Expo it changed my life.  Seriously.  Watch it.  Then watch it again.  I even made my parents watch it.  I made my colleagues watch it.

I nominate Gary Vaynerchuk as Online Man of the Year 2008